What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

If my boyfriend watches porn, does it mean he doesn’t think I’m good enough? If I am good enough, why does he still watch? Am I not beautiful enough?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I have a bad reputation and need help. What should I do?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What is the most comfortable heel height for women's dress shoes and what are the differences between wearing high heels and lower heels?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why do foolish atheists think their strange delusional theories are facts?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Joey Chestnut, barred last July, returns to Nathan’s hot dog eating contest - The Washington Post

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Jenna Bush Hager Gets a Major Leslie Bibb-Inspired Hair Transformation on Live Television - instyle.com

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

How far does good behavior take you in a prison?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Make Nazis afraid again!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What is the most interesting question you can ask to get to know someone?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Where can I sell naked pics of myself online?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

How can the democrats say Mr. Trump is bad when he is already fixing this country again and he's not even president yet?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.